June has been rough. We received unwanted news about my daughter. She is only 14 and is the only one of my kids who wants kids. We found out that due to a hereditary disorder, it will be difficult for her to carry kids and she has to undergo medical treatment to prevent it from torturing her until that day possibly comes. I am heartbroken for her, but it has also brought up several shadows for me that I thought I had healed. I had the same condition but it didn't develop until after I had her. This caused me to have to have a hysterectomy at the age of 21. It has brought up all the feelings of pain and emotional heartbreak from losing that part of myself. I always thought I should've had another baby, but they told me it would ultimately kill me. So with no other choice, I had to remove it. I struggled for years with that decision and still wish I had other options. I was given the opportunity to be a mother figure to several wayward children who came into my home as my kids grew, so that has been a blessing. With advancements in medicine, SHE does have options that will eventually allow her to try. For that I am grateful.
We also had my future son-in-law move in with us. He has been amazing! So helpful and loving, we couldn't ask for a better man for our son to have fallen in love with. He is a gifted artist and has shared his art with us, in the form of a portrait of my husband and me. We are working together to get his GED and all his past issues taken care of so he can put his best foot forward. He is an amazing addition to the family.
My father's cancer has progressed and is slowly tearing him down. I am working through the emotions of losing my father, the heartbreak for my daughter, and re-mourning the loss of my own losses in life. It has been a whirlwind this month and sometimes I wish I could stop to catch my breath. Time keeps ticking, the world keeps moving, and life doesn't give you a moment, it just is as it is. So we keep moving, and I stay busy to help distract my mind long enough to not think about the hurt. I desperately need the distraction right now. Healing others heals me. It is what I have to fall back on and lean on until I can breathe again.
My older daughter got her driver's license this month. She passed on her 1st test! She did amazing and it is such a blessing, she will be able to get herself and her sister to school this year.
My son got a job again! He is super excited to be working again so he can save for a house and a car. It has been a crazy journey watching my child become an adult. Becoming a man and living his life to the fullest. I am very proud of my children, they are a huge blessing to my life.
Bunni
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